


I got rice I got soup watchu want? I could make a sushi or could cook a dimsum

by ravioleeheicho



Series: Eren is Viral [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Eren cant text, M/M, armin tiktoker, choose your asian boy, eren tiktoker, hanji tiktoker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24271048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravioleeheicho/pseuds/ravioleeheicho
Summary: In which Eren is a tiktoker and fell in love with Levi
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Series: Eren is Viral [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753168
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	I got rice I got soup watchu want? I could make a sushi or could cook a dimsum

"Mom, I have another challenge for you- " 

"Eren, I swear if this is one of your dumb videos again!" Carla fixes her posture and looks at Eren. "It's not dumb, mom. It's TikTok!"

Sure, tiktok is dumb but Eren likes making content especially if his family and friends are involved in his stupidity. It also makes him feel happy when his watchers (is that what you call it or cult? Eren doesn't know) leave awesome and thoughtful comments that boost his already hard ego. 

He turns his camera towards her mother and his older brother Zeke gives Carla a mop and on top of it is a cup of water "There we go! Now, you just have to hold it still while we do the groceries, right? Love you!" Eren snickered and both were about to leave when their mother's eyes squint _just a little bit_ for them to stop their tracks. 

"I just had my hair fixed! If I get all wet you're both grounded for two months!" She looks at both of them and both are sporting a shit-eating grin while carefully balancing the cup on top, bringing it down. "You can't ground us if we don't live here anymore!" Eren said in a sing-song voice. 

"Oh? Yes, I can't ground the both of you but I can pull out the payment for your apartments! Not to mention that your Dad and I still pay for your internet, Eren." His mom and brother laugh when Eren was unable to bite back. _Damn, she's getting good block mailing me huh?_ And this is what makes Eren happy. When her mother or anyone in his family laughs because of him. Honestly, he wants to make them laugh from joking more than bickering because let's admit it, bickering with your family is always, and always half meant. All the unsaid words and grudges piled up then turned into a playful banter with the purpose of hurting you in an oblivious way. _Nah, it will always never turn out good._ Especially with his dad. His old man talks pure honesty and even if his dad meant it as a joke, he learned the hard way that his dad is a boomer and their jokes are fucking insensitive even though it's funny. If women have Karen or Sharon then men have John or whatever the fuck that is. Eren doesn't care. They can even use the name _Grisha._

One time, they were just chilling in the living room, minding their own business when Eren saw a bunch of family pictures without him. "Hey, Dad?" Grisha adjusts his glasses and looks at Eren with a mixed expression of waiting and disturbed "Why am I not always in the picture? This album is full of pictures from two years ago though?" He said and smirked "Is it because my photography skills are top tier? Hah! I knew it. Glad, you have a talented bunch, no?" His Dad looked at him straight in the eyes before he goes back to his book. 

"You know you're ugly when you are always asked to take the pictures" Damn his dad's emotional neutrality. _Really, fuck deadpan culture._ The older Jaeger focused on reading again. Eren wasn't prepared for that comeback. 

No shit, he felt thousands of small pins chanting straight to his heart _ugly ass Eren_ that time and as petty as it was, he decided to never joke with his father. His hard ego was crushed by the same hands who built it, irony

 _M_ aybe _dads are there to bring you back to the ground huh?_ He knows his ego, pride, and reputation. He's up in the sky every time and he sometimes doesn't want to touch the ground again. What can he do? He's popular in his high school, he's got a reputation and awesome talent but _yeah, I know where I got my cocky attitude._ As much as people always point out that he's the splitting face of his mother, his friends and family also point out how much bullshit of an attitude he got from his father. 

No, his Dad is actually good. He gave Eren and his brother food, dressed them up, gave them a roof over their heads, and a sweet vacation to the Maldives last year with their respective friends. He's actually good but blunt. He and Eren always bicker and stuff but they're actually close to the point where Eren can drag his _good but blunt_ father to a tiktok video. "Dad, some say you look like the main character's dad in Attack on Titan" Eren sat down next to his father in one of his videos and placed his head on Grisha's shoulder "They want to see you in a doctor uniform" He looked up, his face in a cute little puppy eye and small pout and saw his Dad glaring at him. It took him 30 minutes of convincing and 20 dollars worth of good food for his dad to agree.

That video was his starting point as it went viral and that's how he started gaining subscribers and building name in tiktok and Instagram. His family and friends supported him throughout even though they usually ( notes: _most of the time_ ) make fun of him and call him _The_ _cringe man_ Eren ignores them and after two years, he got himself 3.5 million subscribers in tiktok and 900k followers in Instagram which to remind you, is still growing and growing each day. 

So here he is, mopping a spilled water after his mother's mess and Zeke is outside picking up Bean and Sawny's poop while his mother went upstairs to fix her hair again. _Such high maintenance._

Eren and his brother decided to visit their parents for the weekend after their finals because they both wanted to relax and maybe ask for extra allowance. _No, just kidding._ Eren said after saying his idea to Zeke. They both miss their mother's cooking and their father's endless lecturing in which they both find funny because their parents' nagging actually pushed both of them away to their dorms. _Sometimes, you just need a break, but you don't want it to stop._ Eren thinks. 

He cleaned some more and when he was done, Eren went upstairs to just lay down and bore himself out. He took out his phone and started editing the prank he made on his mother and posted it on tiktok. He's usually the guy in your _for you page_ doing silly things and sometimes dancing to _why you desire me up every season lick off the spatula and keep it squeaky clean yeah_ or just the plain _rocksand rocksand_ but mostly, he's the dumb guy making pranks and vines. 

He scrolls up a bit more and a new upload from _hanjiyesculture_ pops out _._ Hanji is one of the few people he made friends within the span of two years. They sometimes duet in a voice over or just be crazy together. She posts dub videos and women empowerment talks while sitting inside her car or in front of her bathroom holding a glass of wine. They met a year ago when Eren reacted to one of Hanji's _Men Are Trash talk_ and hit right of the bat. They've never met each other in person but they always plan. A plan that always turns into a drawing but never colored in. They both laugh at their failed attempts every time considering the fact that they attend the same university and live in the same building dorm. _"Nah, it's fine! You're like 6 buildings away from my department"_ same old excuses they both use. 

It's not that Eren doesn't want to meet Hanji. There's just no time! Like literally no time! No right time. 

Eren clicks the video and DIM SUM parody starts playing _**choose your asian boy .**_ If you use tiktok, you've probably watched a handful _choose your asian boy_ trap videos. Content makers usually do this to lure in followers because _let's admit it, asians are the new trend_ and a lot of people have asian fetish in which Eren totally understands. _Hey, we ain't gonna fetish shame people._ His asian friends are a bunch of cool and smart people. One of his best friends is asian and he's not kidding when he says that she's so fucking asian, she teaches Eren calculus. _Just kidding._

 _I got rice I got soup watchu want? I could make a sushi or could cook a dimsum._ The first guy is holding a laptop while waving his peace sign at the camera. His name is Tooru and a volleyball player at that. The next guy went by the name Sangwoo with blonde hair on top. Eren thinks he's a little creepy to look at and shakes his head. He's not shocked. _That's Hanji's type of friends...weird._ The third guy is Hajime. A guy wearing a dark blue tank top. The caption on his part shows _yall can't choose this guy_ cause apparently, he's taken. _Shame_ Eren thinks. The guy has nice tan skin and bulging arms. The fourth one is a young-looking boy wearing a snapback named 'Tobio' His features clean and soft in all right angles. He's glaring while drinking milk. _Hanji's got some cute guy hiding behind her back huh?_

But the last one did not prepare Eren's collection of _turbos_ and stock of lube for the night because _fuck that's some hot ass shit I can wank to every night_ The man in a raven hair appears to be reading a book in the library when the person behind the camera (which is Hanji) shoves the phone to his face. The guy turned his face to the camera and Eren thinks his heart got snatched to his stomach. He has a small pointed nose, slightly slanted sharp grey eyes giving him the distinct asian appearance and thin lips. A frown masking his face when he said something that Eren can not hear. But what makes Eren feel all the supposed to be an illegal sensation on his south end is the way his hair is styled in an undercut and colored in jet black that matches his white skin that looks like he never bathed out in the sun. The video ended with the guy slapping the camera or the person behind the camera. Eren doesn't know and it's not his business.

_Levi_

\--

**Hanjiyesculture ✔️**

Today 3:16 PM

_Hanji, my friend_

_hELLO EREN DEAR_

_So ive watched ur latest upload ah hahaha_

_really? Sssoo what do u think of my salmon?_

_??_

_???????_

_???!!?!?!?_

_???!!????!?!?! _

_what samin u talkin abt?_

_i meant th_

_*e_

_*asian bois or sum_

_OHHH THAT!! I HAVE A NEW UPLOAD SOOOOO _

_but what abT my asian sushi rolls?_

_The Leveeguy_

_levee hu?_

_THE LEVEEEE_

_I IONT HV LEVEE IN THAT_

_oh you mean my grumpy friend Levi?_

_yeaaaa d last_

_ohHhhHH do you want his number_

_does he hv any soc med or just ig_

_@rivaii1225_ _ is his ig_

_sweet! thanks hanji!_

\--

"Eren, bring your dishes down after you eat!" His mom called and he shouted _Yeah!_ After Hanji gave Levi's Instagram, Eren immediately went to his profile and browse his pictures. He's almost at the bottom of Levi's profile but Eren still can not find any single picture of him. It's either a picture of his favorite band which is by the way _One Ok Rock_ or a picture of his CATS. Cat with S. As in the plural form of cat. This Levi guy sure makes Eren even more curious about him. From the looks of Levi, he doesn't look like a cat person or even an animal person at all. _god help me he looks like the guy who will skin animals alive_ So far, Eren saw four cats. A Bengal, an american curl, a balinese and a short hair. The cats are surprisingly well-groomed. He bets Levi invests a good amount of money to his cats and so far, he's doing great. 

At last, Eren made it to his 2016 posts where he saw a picture of Levi in a parking lot in front of Target holding a plastic bag. But the thing is, you cannot see his face because it's dark and he's wearing a cap. The only thing that made it obvious that the guy is Levi, is the caption _me standing in your target_ which made Eren laugh. He was smiling and laughing at how silly the picture is when in he- _shit ah ahahaha_

_He accidentally double tapped the picture._

\--

Today is Monday, which means Eren's most hated day because monday is his worst scheduled in university. Not only it is monday but fucking hell, Eren realized that the first thing that greeted Levi that morning is a notification from his post four years ago and before Eren can even message Levi to say sorry, the guy blocked him on Instagram. _Can't blame him though. I literally liked a post from four years ago! and if that is not obvious enough that I'm stalking Levi, then I don't know what that is._

He messaged Hanji about it and the red-haired girl assured him that he will talk Levi out of it. 5 minutes later, Hanji posted a video of herself in tiktok just laughing and Eren knows it's for him. It's definitely for him.

"That's dumb" Armin said while chewing his pesto. "I mean, out of all pictures, Eren. The only picture of him in his feed? Not even his cat pictures?" The blonde laughs at his miserableness. Armin is his friend since High School and the reason why he graduated High School and maybe even college. He also makes tiktok videos here and then but his content is much more knowledgeable and _acceptable._ He posts grammar tips or simple facts of the day. He sometimes even posts essays and hacks for college. _Totally a catch._

They're now at the cafe waiting for their other friend, Mikasa. She's the asian friend Eren was talking about. That asian friend who helps you pass middle school math and will help him get a degree. _That's why I don't mind getting made fun because of tiktok ah ahaha_ "What should I do?" He whines. He's really that deep for Levi. Eren has never felt so deep into someone ever since he was born. _Not even for Justin Bieber_ Levi is just so beautiful in all angles and maybe Eren is just attracted to his physical appearance but the fact that Levi owns four fucking cats when he doesn't even look like a fan of any breathing creature is so damn pulling Eren. 

Mikasa once told him that he's such a curious guy and curiosity will someday bite him back in the ass. And Eren can not agree more. Growing up, he would stand behind his father while the older man reads his book full of body parts and Eren would ask random things. That act made his father think that his youngest son might walk the same path of being a doctor but that immediately went to the drain when his father heard Eren asking about _hotdogs_ to his mother and _why is pacman circle?_ to his brother. He guessed it is just in Eren's nature to be skeptical and curious about things and he just let him be. 

"Hm? why don't you use your tiktok to catch him? Have you seen the new trend?" Armin took his phone out and shows his phone screen playing a tiktok video **_That's my type_** Apparently, it's a trend where they caption their type in a video with the background song. Eren watched some more until Mikasa showed up. They all headed out while Eren continuously thinks of content for his new video.

\--

_**@Jaegerbombastic✔️** _

_Eyow rhat's my type_

_#foryoupage #foryou #thatsmytype #blocked_

"Oh my goodness!" Hanji is wheezing like crazy after watching Eren's latest video. The video started with Boy who blocked me in instagram  and in the end, it showed Eren's dejected face. He didn't know his green-eyed friend would be into Levi that much enough to make a tiktok video about him. What Eren didn't know is Levi lives under a rock and has basically never heard of tiktok before. He only has Instagram because _"You can't possibly post long ass caption in instagram and not feel embarrassed about it besides, people here are not as cringey and annoying as people like you in twitter"_ Hanji defended twitter people by saying _"Okay, here you shorty smart pants. Twitter community is woke not annoying!"_

Hanji has a plan and if Levi gets on her way, his skin would join the potato she's currently peeling off. 

\--

"What the fuck four eyes?" Levi shouts in annoyance as Hanji keeps on poking his cheeks. They're currently sitting in a cafe near their university. Levi woke up with his phone blasting _Roxanne_ that he's sure Hanji changed for her contact without Levi knowing. _"It's fucking six in the morning!"_ he said and he heard Hanji laugh _"go and get dressed! we're getting breakfast at titan cafe"_ It took Hanji 20 minutes of begging and emotional manipulation on Levi for him to give in. _"I'll pay for all your cats' grooming next month!" "Are you not my friend any more Leeeeevi?"_ in which Levi answered, _"Since when did we become friends?"_ Hanji whined and threw him all their memories together and that's how Levi got here. With a promised breakfast and grooming. 

"Aw! Don't be such a mushroom! Have fun!" She urged him and pushed the tray of waffles in front of Levi. _Hanji rarely buys me food so it's best to indulge first. Let's think about the consequence later_ "Eat a lot!" She smiled and Levi narrowed his eyes on her "Take a big bite, 'kay? Oh! here we have your tea" She placed the tea set that looks like it costs a lot of money. Levi sips on his tea and gave Hanj's expectant face a look. He didn't know Titan Cafe offers a good tea in his 3 years of going here. Hell, he doesn't even know that they offer tea let alone a set of tea. 

"So..." 

_I knew it_

Levi placed his tea down and looked at Hanji "I knew you have a favor to ask. Spill" He knows Hanji like the back of his hand and how his friend called her six in the morning but also volunteered to treat him? Definitely not free. "Well, you see...It's for you and not for me." The taller laughed and fixed her glasses "It's for your sake Levi! When was the last time you got laid? Have you ever got laid? Ow! Stop throwing berries!" She said and threw a piece of berry for revenge. Levi laughed and ate the berry Hanji threw at his face. "I don't know if you're trying to convince me or insult me," He said and took another bite of his waffles. "But by the looks of it, you're trying to make me unblock Aaron" 

"Aaron?" Hanji's face scrunched up in confusion before taking a sip on her chocolate latte "I don't know an Aaron, bitch" She said and stole a bite out of Levi's waffle. "Well, newsflash bitch, who the fuck liked my post from 2016 last night?" Hanji stopped chewing and looked at Levi before bursting into a loud screeching laugh "Well newsflash too mother fucker, his name is Eren!" 

"Aaron or Eren whatever sounds the same" He crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. "Okay, look at me you dumbfuck," Hanji said in a serious tone that made Levi look at her. "You see this button?" She showed her a profile page and Levi squints to get a better look "You blocked Erwin?" He asked

"No, you dumbass. Well, I- Yea I did block him but just for an example of how to unblock someone" The taller pressed buttons and shoved the phone again to Levi's face "There. That is how you unfollow. Now, hand me your phone and unblock someone from your list specifically the handler _erenjaegerbomb"_ Levi sighed. 

"What am I even gonna get out of this?" 

"A free trial dick or a premium that doesn't end. It depends on you. See, you look at this!" Hanji clicked a video of Eren (note that she chose the least cringe video of Eren) where the boy is doing a dalgona coffee. _"This barista shit is easy! Wuhooo"_ Levi heard the boy in the video. He's pretty tall in Levi's judgment because anyone above 5'5 is a giant to him and he has bright green or _what the fuck is that pecks of blue in his eyes?_ They watch some more and it includes Eren's latest video _That's my type_ Levi chuckled at his indirect post that is so fucking obvious but still, Levi thinks it's cute.

Levi moved away from Hanji and took out his phone. "Well, I hope this Aaron likes his hair pushed back" he smirked and clicked the unblock button. 

\--

"No..that's too much" Eren bites his thumb in frustration "Hanji! What should I do?" He's face-timing Hanji asking for help. He doesn't know what to say to Levi. Eren is smooth and is known to woo women with just a simple wink but he can't exactly do that in text message unless.. "Send him a picture then?" Hanji suggests while drinking some wine. Eren looks at her in confusion as to how she figured out what he was thinking "Sit down, kid. You're talking too loud in your head. Let mama Hanji teach you how to woo that fuckin midget" She cleared her throat and looked Eren straight in the eyes. Eren waited for her advice, determined to get close to her friend.

"Just say 'Hi' that's all really" And his eyeglasses friend went back to slumping. 

And here he is, typing away with some advice from Hanji. " _Should I message him in Japanese? or English?"_ He asked

_"Eh? What if both? How is that even possible?"_

**@rivaii1225**

Today 2:30 PM 

Konnichiwassup? 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

_\--_

Eren walks beside Armin with his phone in front of both of them "So, is it gay to kiss your homie?" Eren asks the blonde and Armin shakes his head with a cute pout "Really? Kiss me then" Armin elevated his toes and pecks Eren's cheeks.

The video then shows Eren between Marco and Jean asking "Is it gay-kissing your homie?" They said no and kissed both his cheeks with Jean leaving more saliva "Fucking hell horse face!" He laughed and scrunched up his face murmuring _Jeanslurs._

His next victim was Connie sitting with Sasha and Eren leaned down to ask the guy "Hey Con, is it gay to kiss your homie?" Connie laughed and answered "You're gay, Eren" and kissed his cheeks. Eren found two more of his victims mainly, Reiner and Berth in which he got two sweet kisses.

He made his way to a familiar but not so familiar building where three figures were waiting for him "Hey Hanji! Is it gay to kiss your homie?" Eren laughed and Hanji kissed both of his cheeks before looking at the camera to squeal "No! Definitely not!" He then next targeted the blonde blue eyes named Erwin who kissed him on his temple and they both giggle. Eren lightly punched his arms saying _Erwin, you might lose your arm!_ He then went to the shortest and said

"Hey, handsome. Are you gay enough to receive more than a kiss from me?" 

Levi _tched_ and pushed down his boyfriend's neck to kiss him full on the lips. 

Who the fuck thinks he'll end up with a kid who messaged him with a japanese kaomoji that is kind of insulting and brought him to a boba place on their first date? 

_Sighs_ Just Eren Jaeger

**Author's Note:**

> hello! I dont know if i can edit this bcs ao3 is acting up and wont let me save this to draft soooo i hv to upload it immediately sorry for any error :((( anywayyy ive been watching tiktok n this hs been in my head for tooo long alrdy. I want to make a fic about their relationship after but i iont know if yall will read a ( possible ) sequel hHhh 
> 
> The song parody inspired me tho DIM SUM (LIL Teca - Ransom Asian Parody)  
> I based hanji on @gabschase in tiktok and "this barista shit is easy" on @newt. Noooww Eren is mixed of random tiktok guy rlly hahaha Armin is @hinthorn


End file.
